A few years back I went through a situation which made me a closed person unable to trust anyone. I would approach everyone I met ,with caution ! I wouldn’t believe anyone until they proved themselves ‘trustworthy’ ..
I would stay closed and put a lock across my heart! For fear of being perceived as vulnerable !
And , it worked ! Like magic!
So most people perceived me as this ‘strong’ woman! And stood a few feet away, in awe of me! And there were those who couldn’t connect with me & feared to come close!
Most though, were in awe of me , my ‘strength’ ! Little did they know that it was my cowardice that made me put on that mask & hey I did it cleverly & played the role well to the tee! Deep within I was this weak girl who feared people, feared being taken for a ride, feared I might lose something if I trusted someone
Years rolled by and I realized my circle shrinking slowly .. there were those days when I had no one to speak to.. just a handful that had ‘proved’ themselves , a handful that went by my value system
Eventually I realized , yes , that shield protected me in many ways !
Yet it also blocked me from opening up to some beautiful souls that might have helped me see my own true self earlier and that might have helped me realize my true potential in a much better way!
So what is trust ?!
Is it not having a certain expectation of a person ?!
And is that not all about being ‘attached’ ?!
And then came some beautiful people in my life, that taught me how to give without expecting ; how to love without needing anything in return; how to not be afraid to lose anything!
That is when I realized we only lose what we cling to! Well, we almost always do !
And it’s such a prison to be in fear of something that has not happened and that might never happen!
To trust is to be free but it’s also to have an expectation !
Photo by Dave Lowe on Unsplash
Because we are attached to a certain outcome or a certain result .. there is some element of ‘hope’ that this person would be like this with me ! And if at all that is shattered , we say the person broke your trust..
So how do we trust on a daily basis ?
Even as we sit , we don’t fear ‘ gosh what if the earth opens up n swallows me ‘ ! 😃
We trust that the earth will hold us in place ! Don’t we?!
So just like how love is not about the other person but it’s just about our own sweetness of emotion, trusting the process of life with no expectations, and accepting every thing that’s thrown our way with a feeling of ‘what is this teaching me’ , frees one !
Once I started trusting that process, life has become free and blissful!
I have taken on every challenge ever since , with a smile !
When we are truly detached we trust the process and have no fear of losing anything.. and that’s how liberation is achieved , they say…
And now my circle only keeps growing larger. B’cos , When there is no fear, the heart is more open ! And people can perceive that energy , & that vibration brings loads of goodness , some amazing souls and beautiful people into our lives ..
